Attachment & Intimacy
The way we connect with intimate partners, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances is often shaped by our first relationship experiences within the family. Commonly, these experiences are with immediate primary caregivers, such as mum or dad, and older siblings.
When primary relationships are safe, nurturing, and consistent, we are likely to develop secure attachment in intimate relationships in which we can balance our and our partner's autonomy with our and our partner's desire for attachment, closeness, and intimacy.
When primary relationships are unsafe, rejecting, neglectful, or inconsistent and hurtful, we are likely to develop unstable or insecure attachment patterns. The most common ones are avoidant attachment in which we push away intimacy for fear of losing our autonomy, safety, or sense of self in relationships, and anxious attachment in which we may seek excessive reassurance and cling to the other person for fear of abandonment.
Unhelpful attachment patterns are often what lie at the heart of relationship issues, isolation, social anxiety, and more. If you find yourself in a series of unstable relationships or have recognized some attachment issues in your own life, book a psychotherapy consultation to see how we can start building a healthier secure attachment with a significant other.
Attachment & Intimacy
Intimacy is crucial in our romantic relationships and it can foster closeness, deep connections, and our natural desire to love and be loved. Unfortunately, sometimes intimacy can take a backseat in our lives as daily responsibilities and stressors engage our attention and headspace. This can have disconnecting and damaging effects on our intimate relationships.
Sexual intimacy is an important part of such intimacy. Sex can be more complex than other physical intimate affection as it is often associated with feelings of shame, anxiety, disgust or guilt. Partners are not always able to share their feelings or sexual preferences for fear of rejection, humiliation, or anger.
Whether a couple has been together for a few months or a few decades, sexual needs remain a key part of a healthy relationship. Reconnection is possible even if the topic has triggered distress or been avoided. There are many paths to a fulfilled and satisfying sex life which will bring you and your partner closer than before, and enhance the wellbeing and strength of your relationship.