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How is Self-Sabotage Holding You Back?

Updated: Mar 3, 2022

Have you ever been in a really good place in a relationship, but suddenly start acting differently? You push your partner away, test their love for you, or become overly clingy. Your behaviour is causing conflict and it’s almost like you’re determined to mess things up.

Self-sabotage is behaviour that creates problems and prevents the achievement of goals and happiness. It is particularly common in people who experience negative beliefs about themselves or engage in disparaging, punitive self-talk. Self-sabotage is usually driven by two key things: fear of getting hurt, or a sense of being undeserving of happiness.

This can interrupt relationships, career paths, and most importantly, our sense of self-worth. We may withdraw from good relationships when they get “too” close, procrastinate on important tasks until it’s too late, or repeatedly beat ourselves up for our failures, actions or personality.

You may have already tried to fight the negative views you hold about yourself. You may say you consciously know that these things aren’t true, but emotionally you still feel like you’re not good enough. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to live this way.

Therapy goes beyond identifying where these self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours come from. It works at an emotional level to get you to a place where you experience a true change in how you feel about yourself. Learn to shut down the voice that is sabotaging you and put it in its box once and for all. Imagine the possibilities of what you could achieve if you are no longer holding yourself back.

For more information or to book a consultation with psychologist Dr. Esslin Terrighena, please contact (852) 2521 4668 or

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